I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize