Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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