tell your sister to shave her snatch
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
