I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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