Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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