went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
