ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
