I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
