I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize