the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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