Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Randomize
