$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
