Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need to calm my uterus...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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