I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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