Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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