soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
