Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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