I don't think brook has ever known best
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.