I cockslap morals
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
