The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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