so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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