Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
