those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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