either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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