we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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