I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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