I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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