Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
