she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
