living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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