Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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