Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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