What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
