Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
