if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
