I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
