the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize