maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
