Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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