He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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