I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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