I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
