he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
