she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
