I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
