I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
