we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
