My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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