The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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