i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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