Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
