Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
