so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dicks are not precious.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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