Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize