Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
