Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
