i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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