Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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